You'd Be Here
by Doomsday Raven
Summary: A few days after a fight with Break, Alice regrets ever having the dispute in the first place. BreakxAlice, rated T for Alice's language.


Alice looked out the window with hollow purple eyes. Rain showered down harshly from the gloomy clouds that covered the sky. Someone softly knocked on her door. "Alice?"

She didn't say a thing. She didn't even notice; she just looked out the window with a blank expression. Oz Vessalius; her Contractor opened the door and peeked in. "Alice? It's been two days. Come and eat."

"I don't need to eat."

"You _need_ to eat. Alice, come on. Please? We have lots of meat."

"I don't need to eat." She echoed herself; keeping her gaze on the emptiness outside. _That's right. Two days. Two…days…since I had that fight with Break. _Sadness spread through her heart. _Two days since Break died._ She bit her lip as the memory from two days ago resurfaced.

* * *

"_Get out! Get out of my sight, I can't stand you!" She screamed at him. "You…with Sharon-oneesama…I thought that I meant more to you…"_

"_Alice-kun—"_

"_I hate you! I hate you more than anything, you damn, wretched clowny bastard! Go burn to death! Go drown, hang yourself, slit your throat, suffocate, I don't give a damn anymore! Making such faces…to Onee-sama…whispering all of those lies…I hate that the most!" Alice shrieked; her mind racing and blood boiling._

"_I love you, Alice-kun." Break said softly. "I really do."_

"_That's what you said to Onee-sama too, isn't it? Uttering those sweet lies to her, in order to take advantage of her…making that face…a face that I thought you would only make towards me…you never loved me. And I was a complete idiot for loving a sneaky weasel like _you_."_

"_Nothing will change. Not for me and you, Alice-kun. I'll always love you."_

"_Ha. Hahahahahaha…" Alice chuckled weakly. "You? You'll always love me, huh? That's what you told Onee-sama, right? 'I'll always love you, Ojou-sama, I'll always love you', that's how you said it, right? Betraying me like this…it's very painful. Just get out of my sight."_

"_Alice-kun. Listen to me."_

"_Get the hell out of my sight. Forever, got it, stupid Clown? Take that disgusting doll and your idiotic grin and _leave_."_

* * *

After Break had left, news had reached the mansion that Break had been murdered; although his body hadn't been recovered. Devastation rippled through the mansion and in Pandora at the death of the Mad Hatter. Alice was broken the most. "I take it all back. I take it all back, Clown. Please come back. Where did you go? Where did you run off to?" Alice whispered.

"Alice?"

"Please come back. I really miss you. Letting someone important slip away from me again…how will I handle that?"

"Alice, Sharon-chan has Pandora members searching for Break's body. They'll find it." Oz said gently. "Come down for dinner soon, okay?" A soft click sounded as Oz exited the room and closed the door.

"It isn't easy for me to apologize, Clown. It isn't easy at all…but losing you would destroy me," Alice murmured. "It would absolutely destroy me. What was it that we were fighting about? I can't even remember. I hated you at that time; but I knew that I loved you too."

She raised a white gloved-hand to the cold glass, and slid her fingers down the surface. "It's raining, Clown. Don't catch a cold. I've been waiting for you to come back. I'll wait for a long time if it means having you back. I should've chased after you." Alice felt hot, stinging tears well up in her amethyst-purple eyes. Her heart thudded painfully in her chest, and she heard the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs. _Alice-kun_. Alice whipped around and ran to the door, throwing it open. Her eyes darted around; expecting to see Break there; the one who had just said her name. "E-Eh? Oh…it…was just my imagination." Alice's voice began to fade as she shut the door and resumed her place by the window. Her heart was thudding painfully in her chest as the memories from her time in the human world flew past her eyes. "Where did you go? I'm sorry, okay? Won't you come back? Or…have you already moved on, you useless Clown?"

Alice's eyes widened as she gazed down out the window. A flash of pure white standing out in the murky darkness as the rain fell. A blaze of red. "Break?" Alice gasped, as she turned and sprinted to the door. She hastily opened the door and ran down the stairs; past Gilbert as he climbed up to try and get her to come down for dinner.

"Stupid Rabbit, where are you going?" He called out after her. She didn't hear him, she kept going. Reaching the front doors, she flung open the doors and darted outside. "Break!" The rain immediately soaked her dark brown hair as she swiveled her gaze in order to catch a glimpse of the pure white that she had seen. "Break!"

"Alice!" Oz called from inside the mansion.

"Break! Break, where are you?" She cried out. Her clothes became soaked as she strayed further from the warmth of the house; seeking out the white-haired, red-eyed man.

"Alice, it's raining! Come back inside!" Oz had followed her out; grabbing her arm and attempted to drag her back to the mansion.

"No, no, no!" She wailed. "Break! Break!"

"Break isn't here!" Oz yelled.

"He was…was…I…him…I saw…"

"He isn't here. There is no one out here in this rainstorm! Let's go, you're drenched!"

"No! Break's here, I saw him! I saw him from the window, he came back!" She protested as Oz dragged her back inside where a maid scurried over to them with some towels. Servants closed the doors; as Alice desperately tried to get free. "Oz, he was there! Why are you closing the doors on him? Why? Break is there!"

Oz grabbed her shoulders and shook her roughly. "Alice! Break isn't out there. Break will never come back. He will never return to this place, he won't come back to your side! He's _dead_, Alice. Break is _dead_."

"You're lying."

"You heard the news. He was murdered."

"You're lying."

"Alice." Oz pulled her in to a tight embrace. "I'm here, Alice. Don't forget about me. Don't focus on him so much anymore. You've stopped eating and sleeping. Please just…forget about him now."

"Stop lying to me. Stop feeding me such terrifying lies," Alice whispered. "That idiotic Clown would never die. He said that…nothing was ever going to change for us. We'd continue being together; forever. It didn't matter that I was a Chain, and that he was a human. It doesn't matter; because we loved each other. Break loved me, and I loved him. He isn't dead."

"Then why were we told that he was murdered?"

"Because they're lying!" She screeched. "Break wouldn't die! He was strong, he was brave, he was everything that I couldn't be! He could protect the ones that he loved! He could be the strong one when everyone else was weak! He's out there, right now! At the front door, he's there!"

"Enough. Break is dead. You'll never see him again. You won't ever be able to hear his voice, or laugh with him. You won't see him again, or have him at your side."

"Oz…why…why are you lying to me?"

"Stop denying, Alice. Just…stop. The man named Xerxes Break is gone."

"He's waiting outside…Oz…Break is waiting out there because he's simply too proud to knock on the door like a regular person. He's waiting in the rain…for me to come out and greet him, and apologize."

"He's not. Please believe me."

Alice broke away from Oz's hug, and dragged her feet up the stairs; back to her room. "Break…" She closed her bedroom door after her; as she dropped to the floor; curling up. "Break, come back." Tears rolled down her face as she clasped her hands to her heart. "It hurts. It hurts when you're not here with me." She looked emptily up at the window. "If this…was like a romance fairy tale that Sharon-oneesama would read to me…you'd be here by now, right?"

* * *

_**A/N**__: Instead of always having Break mourning over the death of Alice, I wrote one of Alice mourning over Break. I hoped you enjoy, this was slightly influenced by __**If This Was a Movie**__ by Taylor Swift. I do not own Pandora Hearts._


End file.
